Why Believe?

This is cross posted from StreetProphets (a Kos Community), since things have been very hectic with me lately.

"So," a diarist asks, "Why believe in God?"


I answer that:

As for me, I am a Christian Roman Catholic and a dabbler in doubt. God does not speak to me. I'm living with His silence. (Usually in a huff). But here are some things that move me to believe:

I love the truth. I respect all truth. I really dispise dishonesty and lies. Jesus said: "Everyone who loves the truth hears my voice." [Isn't it interesting that he did not say "Everyone who loves me hears the truth."] I think anyone who seeks the truth, honestly, will find God. Everything that exists is true, and what is true is of God.

For me, existence itself is the kingpin. Existence is so radical and impossible, and so wild a thing, that the very act of recognizing my own existence forces me to look for an Other. Why is there something instead of nothing? Why is there me? Logically, it looks like this: I know only two things with absolute certainty. 1. I exist. 2. I came into being. [I had nothing to do with my own existence.] Everything else for me is a matter of belief (even you). And yet these two things that I do know for certain force me to seek God, maybe even name Him.

Then there is the second law of thermodynamics (entropy, things fall apart). This law is violated by life, evolution, and intelligence; and yet I participate in all three of these things. I am running contrary to a very universal physical law (and I believe you are, too). Isn't that odd?

Also, and finally I suppose, I realize that the universe is not perfect. That nature, which we all so much enjoy, is really quite hideous underneath. The universe is flawed. (I recommend you read Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, by Annie Dillard). And people are horribly flawed. Even children can recognize injustice. And so I believe that evil truly does exist. If I did not believe in God, I could not call it evil. I'd have to say it's just another way of being. Maybe I'm so colored by my own culture that I can only call it evil, but I don't think so. It seems universally true. Absolutely evil. And it would be quite a trick indeed to discover God by coming to the realization that first of all, evil exists. And since I recognize it and can name it, I have to wonder what it is that allows me to see it, if not an absolute good that I cannot see.

These are only some ideas. I still live with fear and trembling, but our mutual existence cheers me some. We participate in being. I know I do and trust that you do as well. That Being, that Other, that Unmoved Mover that brought me into this participation, I name God. The rest, you know, is easy.